Updated 7/20/08

The contest came in on time this time, which is something of miracle since the
Troll, and by extension, the Contest Drudge, managed to break his arm last
week. This means he's down one typing hand--his best typing hand at that. More
about that on on Hot Flashes since he's only going to type the story once.

Be that as it may, we have a winner for our Mid-Summer Indulgence Contest!
It was Diane H!  Let's give her a big hand!
Our five lucky runners-up were Aileen O, Kate P, May S, Susan T  and Susie!
They each get free shipping on their next order! Let's hear it for them, too!

So now the old contest has met its end like a moth having a bad date with a
bug zapper. Now you're all wondering what the new contest might be.
Has the suspense built up enough? Okay, here it is:

The Cast Party Contest

Why are we calling it that?
Well, with luck the end of August or early September will  see the cast coming off the Troll's arm--
reason enough for a cast party of sorts. Makes sense, right?
What will the winner get?
Five $5 gift certificates to use or share with friends, one for each Troll finger
released from bondage, a bundle of Hill Woman's Own Incense (the Troll will have
an easier time doing incense with two hands), and a signed picture of the cast, just
the thing to line a birdcage or wrap fish!
One other thing -this time the contest will end after the cast comes off--either
at the end of August or in early September. No fixed date. Soon, hopefully.

Sound like the sort of thing to end the summer? Or start the fall?
Just send  an email to the Contest Drudge saying: 
"I want in on that Cast Party!"
Or something to that effect.

Once again we'd also like you real fans of our site and our contests to do us a favor: got any
ideas what later contests should or might be? Let us know! We're always looking for interesting
new ideas and new ways to keep these contests fun and interesting. Maybe we really need them!
PLEASE be sure to use that line, use the link above to fire off your email program, or mention the words Hill Woman Contest in the subject line, or it gets too easy for your entry to get lost in the ton 'o spam it arrives in. Emails with no subject line are automatically deleted. Sorry, but the Drudge doesn't really need or like to read ads for pirated software or Viagra.

Please, only one entry per household, and for the love of Mr. Zip,  please, no 'reply requesteds', you will get a notification that your entry has been received unless your email gets kicked back, or you enter past the deadline. And no imbedded pictures--we have excruciatingly slow dial-up, and a couple of the holiday-themed entries last time around took five minutes each to download!
Another note! The Drudge is maniacally careful about keeping his virus checker updated. Every incoming and outgoing mail is checked. But a couple bounced emails in the past suggested that someone  who entered
a contest sometime in the past did get a virus from somewhere, and their computer sent out crap in his and other names. This is one reason we only do individual replies. It cuts down the chance that  your email address could end up getting snapped up on an infected machine. Be careful! We are!

When you do enter we'd sure like to hear any comments you might have.
How you found the site, and if it's useful to you. If it's hard or easy to find stuff.
If you're a customer, or thinking of becoming one. Tell us truths and secrets.
Let us know how we're doing  -and how you're doing. 
We really do listen, and act on what we hear.
The Drudge reads every entry, and sends back a reply to let you know it reached us.

The contest closes 7 PM Eastern,  shortly after the cast comes off--either
at the end of August or in early September.  Hopefully real soon!
Any entries coming in after that time will probably be entered
in the following contest,  if there is one. Which will probably happen.
The winner will probably be chosen that same evening by our usual peculiar
methods, as detailed below, and notified as soon as possible.

So if you want a chance to win, you better enter now! Just email the Contest Drudge.
We even put in the subject for you! Aren't we thoughtful?
Maybe you missed out on the last contest. Or just plain lost.
Well, here's a chance to maybe restock of a few things on us!
What the hey, it's free, right? What have you got to lose?
So drop us a line and give it a try! 

We repeat, the contest closes at, and the winning name will be drawn some time after  the cast comes off--either
at the end of August or in early September, the winner picked by some extremely fair and highly scientific method such as The Sling of Fortune, Pain Med Bingo, Unreachable Bits Itch Prediction,  or just using darts again--a tried and true method we lean on  more than we should, but as many of you know, the Contest Drudge hasn't had much luck coming up with a safe and viable alternative.

Trust us, the drawing will be fair, honorable, and completely above board.

Good luck!
Obligatory fine print:  Value of the Cast Party Contest is at least $27.00; added value will
depend on how highly you would prize that cast picture.
Not to mention the free shipping. And the thrill. Can't forget that.
You win the Contest, you win the aforementioned prize, we will NOT send you money instead.
Don't even ask. Why spoil the thrill of winning with hearing a resounding, grumpy NO?
Only one Prize will be awarded, along with free shipping on their next order for up to five second
place entrants. We repeat: nothing is redeemable for cash, including us.
Please, only one entry per person, and only one entry per household, but we really hope you
do enter since a contest with no entries is like house without a dog or dogs.
Woofless. No paws for relaxation. A sad story with no tail, one that's not wags to wishes.
Unspeakable. Just plain arful.
So don't leave our contest playing dead!
Try us on, raise that nervous hand,  spin the Wheel of  Fortune, and enter! No harm can come of it!
No purchase necessary, but we sure hope you order. Not only will your house and person
smell far better than the rest of the un-Hill Womaned Universe,  we're still hoping to see if the
 money could actually come in faster than it goes out. The  money thing may actually be possible,
 though it still remains a high-flown theoretical concept only, and Our Ship Is Sure To Come In
Wonder-bucks won't buy much gasoline or coffee. Plus the warm fuzzy feeling that comes from
having your own artfully blended oils, herbs and incense might--we said MIGHT-- wax your karma,
polish your aura, tune your mood,  and make people say: darn, but doesn't that person smell good!.
Wouldn't that be something?
Sure worth a try, right? Even if it doesn't, you will, as I think we mentioned earlier, smell
better. Perhaps so good people nearby wake up to find that their noses have run off to
come visit your house. Imagine them out there, peeking their hopeful little nostrils
through the pickets of your fence, sighing . . . .
We won't share your email address or any personal information with anyone.
In fact, if you so ask, we'll steadfastly maintain that you do not, can not, and shall not
ever be more than a fever dream or mental hiccup.
Offer void outside this particular raddled reality,  and valid until this contest turns 
teenaged and uncooperative, goes off to sell flowers in airports, or gets drafted. Or we just
say to hell with it. Or the Drudge comes off his long string of head injuries.
We do our best to get every entry, but can't guarantee anything. This is a small goofy
contest run by a very small business, and we're subject to the whims of the email vortex,
the web, outside forces, and services maintained by others. If some giant stupid
corporation messes us up, all we can do is the best we can do. Which is what we
always do. If you know us, you know that to be true.
Fine print is an art practiced by bastards, and quite often a close, critical  reading of the
damn stuff just tells you that you can't win anyway. That is not the case here. You CAN
win--or at least might win. Just enter, cross your fingers, legs, or heart and hope to eat pie.
Or send a hacksaw, bottle of Industrial Strength Aspirin, a two liter bottle of Finlandia,
and several pounds of Dove Dark to the Contest Drudge in an envelope with 'HINT! HINT! 
written on the front in crayon.
He probably can't be bribed, but it sure would make him giggly Or help him plot his escape.

Good Luck!!